i heard that dodo is the stupidest bird?

I don't get this DODO. If they can spend so much time calling (email too) me why don't they just set up the internet connection. How many times can a person reconfirm with you? Thank you also for letting me know that I still can't use my internet even after the proposed installation appointment cause the modem is not being delivered yet.

I've been so good at managing my disappointment that I am not even disappointed at the rate they are going. Should I prepare myself for lousy connection as well? Maybe I should!

Malaysia is quite reliable in that sense. So fast, easy and freaking cheap.

short update

Extremely tired. Anxiety attack for weeks d. Finding a place, placing a bond, handling my landlady, handling another crackpot, furnishing the apartment (which I heart like totally!), working like mad woman, moving by walking (2km) to and back (I think I lost some weight!). Really really liking my new place. Not only convenient but I have free pets! Pigeons, parrots, and other kind of birds which I don't know their name.

I was thinking, should I gossip here or not? Maybe not today. If I got time tomorrow and not overwhelmed by another anxiety I might just spill some foul mouth.

Later then.

losing one screw

Interesting how one person can be in a cat fight when nobody even wants to response. The world doesn’t revolve around you. If you find that nobody is responding to you, most probably people got things to do; like earning extra income. You don’t have to do name calling people. I refuse to be at your level and perhaps this is the real reason why there is a refusal to responses. Once you don’t get what you want, you are into name calling. I doubt you are even joking, cause it’s so lame. A person with the heart of gold would have thought of some good reasons of a person not responding but definitely not the response of sarcastic and accusation mode. I wonder how old are you?

Some people just don't get the message.

:-)

Mark this day!

What I want to say is, sometimes I see the bad more in this world than the good but it is the good that truly changed my world. This world ain't so bad after all because of these people. That it is still worth it, that I don't mind being less selfish, that I don't mind being good for them, that it is effortless.

One act of kindness and sincere love can change the bad to good so immediately. It's so effective.

This special day doesn't belong to me anymore. It is for all of you that care. It is because some of you are willing to the make that fuss that it makes it feel special again.

I am so happy. I love you all! You know who you are.

Just want to bla bla

I shud be drinking plenty of water. Its so dry and cold. My eyes, my throat, my lips, my mouth. My skin are turning scaly. And I hate taking shower in the morning, I am not in during the noon and I hate it even in the night. Its cold that I just want to curl up into a ball right after shower and just not move after that. I know some of you have endured much colder weather but this is my first time k. My coldest time back home would be when the aircond is at its lowest, 16. Yep. Winter is here. Don’t like it cause there’s no snow here. What is great though is I get to wear boots! Love em!

You know CY is so known as CY because I mentioned him as CY, especially on FB. I didn’t even have to introduce him. I bet he doesn’t even know I call him CY online. I came to this conclusion because there was once in the mall, my friend recognized him first as CY, my bf, then only she started to look around for me. You see CY you see Tera! Then I met up with Ms SIA and she said so how are you and CY? I can’t recall ever introducing him as CY. Usually I just call him bulat. :-p

Yep. I met up with Ms SIA in Sydney. It was SO nice to meet up with her. I am missing some pure hokkien language. She brought home to Sydney. She hasn’t change much at all. Pretty much the same! Still as sweet, considerate, sincere and homey. She maybe Ms SIA but she is pure breed Penangite! Thank God her job didn’t change her. She reminded me of the ‘crazy’ BUT innocent fun we had; the parties, the apartment stay we had, the parties and raghu’s Dr. No, think we almost died that night, oh and Ms SIA’s one way street driving, some passing out and plenty of pukes... These experiences I had was really about good friends having fun. No ill intention, no fakers just sincere friendship. Can’t say that about the people I met in recent years though. I do miss those days.  I miss you guys so much.

Just a question, have you guys ever encountered people that just want to step on you or pull you down whenever you are doing well or even just mediocre? People said that I am blunt, but I am always careful about my words about hurting people (unless if I am really close to you, I don’t do it to have fun anyway). But there are people that I find are so provoking. They say things to put you down which I find pointless cause all I see is their insecurity and envy. I have a friend whom will just check what am I doing (about my work), where am I whenever it gets the chance! And then it’ll try to match it up with me. I’m like, 3 years old izzit? If you are really that free, please go work your, well, work!

I know I am random tonight. Shud I blog about my fatlady, landlady? There are times I will wish for her to become REALLY fat so that she can’t have sex (not to say I know she is having it or not, which I doubt, ok I won’t have this conversation here). I AM SO CRUEL RIGHT? But I think she deserves it. Yesterday she called one of my housemates stupid. Isn’t that an insult? Who gives her the right to insult people? Sometimes we feel we are paying her to be the lord over us. Like we pay her extra $20 a month to clean the house? (SHE MADE US PAY HER OK!) But we still have to clean the stove and throw out the rubbish and we have to hear her complains.

So I am starting to look for an apartment of our own right? So I call up this number. A lady sounds like my landlady picks up the phone (So the de javu). She ‘interviewed’ me over the phone. I think it is acceptable to ask of our nationality, who is staying, the period of staying but she started to piss me off when she started talking about monetary issues. I am not renting the place yet and she sounded like a freak already! I told her I am sponsored and my spouse will be joining me too and he’ll be working. She asked me those imaginary questions, what if your government stops sponsoring, what if your spouse lose his job? How much saving you have in your account? If life can be guaranteed all the time, I won’t be renting a place from you in the beginning! CRAZY!

I just wanna blog cause I am really bored outta my wit.

an end?

Totally agree with yaoung-i, about writing in English.

My English is really rubbish. Got some feedback from the assignments I submitted. One main big issue was ‘English’. Though my supervisor never said anything yet but I think soon he will be frustrated.

Seriously, I am master of none in all the languages I know! My Malay sucks, my Chinese WAY suckering and my state of English is worst than high school or worst, lower. I think the only language I truly master at is Hokkien, and that’s not even a language, its a dialect. I really want to improve on it but the grammar thingy is like SO hard to make sense of! It never register in my head. the pre post tenses. I feel clenchy just thinking of it.

Anyway, in class today I learnt, a means to an end, it never ends in good. Ha! I like it. The readings given since the beginning of the semester were really extensive. I get headaches trying to understand them, all of them! But it clears up (almost) after the lecture. It never cross my mind that such deep theories can do much healing to the self. The conveyors did a great job.  How I wish some of my friends can attend this course. So much to learn. I feel that to truly learn something, you need to learn from within. Especially when you are talking about society that are filled with so much emotions. It’s hard to find a course where every week, you are requested to reflect deep into your soul even if its an academic course.

The way they learn thing here is different. I like the flow of dialogues (though I rarely participate). In Uni, my time as I remember it, I was shy to voice out. The lecturers did ask questions and we have some good students that were brave enough to answer it. Here somewhat is different. Its more like a dialogue than a question to be answered. I don’t know why I was shy to voice out, cultural thingy? It was not my way to speak out in public or maybe my opinion was not needed when I was growing up. So that became a habit. By having a conversation with the lecturers, the students found so much answers that they weren’t clear about. We didn’t get the answers just like that, it involves plenty of reflection. Too bad today is the last day of the course.

Anyway, tell me, why is it a ‘taboo’ to write about emotions and feelings In academic writing (from Social sciences perspective)? Why? We are trying to study a society with people inside it that have emotions and yet we are not supposed to write like that? How are we going to address the issue? The researcher must remain unemotional and like a third person, unattached. Its something that I have been wondering about for sometime. Everyone writes differently, then how come when I read the journals, is like the same lingo? More professional izzit? More reliable? I thought the most important thing is the process of findings? No?

Something new I learnt from my supervisor, broken relationship. That’s what we study. Broken relationship. I like it! Instead of studying a group of people with this and that issue bla bla bla, we study broken relationship. Think about it! I think its so cool! Make sense of the whole purpose.

I’ve been pretty random today. Anyway, gonna scoot. Ciao!

Bondi and me

Well, I didn’t do the walk. I took the bus instead. I like Coogee beach better. Smaller, maybe that’s why I like it. Didn’t do the walk cause the weather was just really unpredictable. I step out of the house, its pouring kittens and cats, I take another few steps, the rain stop. I keep the umbrella, it started to drizzle. –_-

Hide and seek izzit? So I quit the walk. Went to the beach had expensive pasta seafood with a glass of twins white wine, its rich and smooth. I like most of the wine here in Oz.

Here’s a shot of me and the beach. I surprise myself sometimes. Ha!

Oh, Dr Who is showing. He is running away from aliens from the desert that eat people in a red double decker bus. I haven’t got a clue what’s the series about until I saw the preview. It is almost alike to the dream I had. Now the bus is flying. Ok, that’s not part of my dream. The show is rather ridiculous with its hard to bear CGI.

No such thing

I have so much energy right now. I can’t really sleep. Books? I will be avoiding them for 24 hours before I get back at them, they’ve been my best buddies for this past week but hey, I think we need a break from each other. Just for a while. Might just do that coogee to bondi beach walk tomorrow. Need to take in as much of Autumn before it gets to Winter.

I don’t know why I feel so energetic but I feel if like I go to sleep right now I will waste so much time. I know I ain’t doing much right now but I feel so alive.

“Welcome to the real world, take a seat, plot it all in a black and white…

The best of me still up my sleeve, they love to tell you stay inside the line

I just found out there’s no such thing as the real world, just a lie you’ve got to rise above

I’m invincible. ”

Thank you JM!

16 years ago

Missing your talent.Your songs bring so much memory. Can't quite grip how such talent can be taken away. One of the rare rock gems around and gone.