Cunning angel

What would you do if you were still attending a customer and another colleague (other brand) barge into your space and started selling things for his own pride? You will be pissed and told the person off right?

I didn't say anything at all although I was unhappy (not angry). The whole time he was talking to the customer, I was watching him and thinking what the hell is he doing. I was observing him and thinking, 'so this is how low he can get'. He was my counter manager's good friend and he has always been nice to me and suddenly all of a sudden, he crossed his comfort zone to enter my zone just to get that extra credit card sales the store has been pressuring us to do. All because he wanted to reach his 10 cards target for that night (I overheard him boasting to another beauty assistant).

I was thinking really hard about it, should I say anything because he is the best friend of my manager and he has always been nice. I know its going to turn ugly if I confront him in front of my customer. That's why I kept quiet but I was struggling and how am I going to face him next time, cause he is just next door! Do I want to make a big deal out of this?

I swallowed whatever pride I had and I told myself. Alright, do I want to be angry at this? Can I act differently this time? Do I want to remember how ugly can a person turn to when they are selfish? Do I want to bicker about this? No. I don't want to carry this nonsense with me to bed. I will forget about it because with that I don't have to struggle to forgive him. If he is human, he would have some guilty consious smothering him soon enough.

So he is human, because the next day he WAS extra nice (all guilt written all over his forehead). I gave him my 'biggest smile' of course, the one that looked like this -->    :-D (to make him feel worst). He told my manager what he did and my manager told him off, told him he was a bastard. I thought that was funny. You know what I like about this whole situation? Him feeling guilty. If I were to confront him, I am 100% sure I will feel like shit at night and I wouldn't be able to face him openly. So I rather him be in the difficult situation and I angel. Muahahahahahaah.

Cunning isn't it? He can keep whatever pride he has with the sales and guess who sleeps better at night? I wonder if I will react the same next time.

Not another diet!

Did I mention that I am on a diet? I was trying on a crop top jacket and to my horror all I can see is my protruding stomach and my over eager butt. Actually I am aware that I have been pretty round recently but I guess  I need the right moment, that moment of truth.

So I tried one of the detox tea but hate their after effect, especially when you wake up the next morning. Then after a while this tea will lose its effect cause what else can it detoxes after all the detox right?

So I opt out of that one. I try meal replacement instead. Although don’t really fancy the taste of the meal replacement (they have caramel, latte, banana shake, double chocolate etc) but heck they are actually working. I started on Thursday and I can feel the differences already. They don’t have the after effect of the detox tea which makes you wanna kill yourself in the morning for ever taking the tea.

The meal replacement is about 200 cal per pack (it claims to have all the nutrients I need) and it costs about $3 - $4 per pack. I often take it together with fruits. However it is still a liquid form of meal replacement, so I still do get hungry after 2 – 3 hours. Actually, even if I take normal meal I also get hungry after 2 – 3 hours. So instead of binge eating, I choose to eat water cracker. I avoid rice, noodles at all cost, although water cracker is still sort of starch but it is at its lowest.

I think with what ever diet, I got to have the will to stop giving in to food I am craving for. I have the worst cravings, chocolates, chips, fries. So the first 2 days was kind of hard resisting these food. CY so baka, some more enticed me to eat McD and ice cream! Scolded him until upside down. Haha. Poor dear.

Anyway, I will continue for two weeks and see how it goes. Crossy fingers!!

Photos – oh so random!

sunsets @ my place


Purple tree @ my Uni, would like to grow stretches of them in the future outside my big mansion. ahem.

Little cafe by Bondi Junction. 

Food fair. I think this is  Night Noodle Markets. Visit here: http://www.siff.com.au/




Roaming the city cause didn’t want to go back early.

Our little studio apartment. $300 a week, guess how much I am paying a month in RM. ;-)
Someone’s a month salary.

@ Hyde’s Park for Crave’s Art and About. Visit here: http://www.cravesydney.com/events/art-about
I have to admit that one thing I like about Sydney is their no end of events. There is always something to do, to see and well, to eat.
Best is, the location and its well organized.

An outdoor art exhibition. Isn’t that awesome?



 
I look stupid here. –_- I hate you CY.


Street art performer. Can be quite fun.

With my favourite tree.

Where is thou head?


Went to roam in China town and got myself a Kat. That’s her name.

Kat with Kat but in black that is in white.

Another day to visit the design market. This is a must visit for CY but too bad it ended early due to the rain. Visit here: http://www.pyd.com.au/Events/article/2117.aspx
Before that, bus stop usually waited at. Yea. That’s IGA. The place we shop when we are bored.

 


This has a Japanese feel to it, don’t you think?

The design market. So many things I wanted to buy!!!

The shirt cost me $2 and the short pants cost me $6. Not from the design market. This is purely random.

 
Next, Sculpture by the Sea. Which we went successfully yesterday. We failed first time cause it was too darn hot. 37cel!
I love this event cause the location is perfect! Visit here: http://sculptureinternational.com/html/sxsbondi.php

Not part of the exhibit. Demo we still daitsuki!

Obviously this is not a sculpt. Just the street art by Bondi.

One of my fav!


This is fun too!
















Alright, that’s it for now.
Next perhaps I’ll take a photo of David Jones Christmas display. IT ROCKS!!!!
Ja neh.

idling train

I am allowing myself to be empty this few days. Just practically doing nothing, you know, cause I want to ready my mind, I know I will be pretty busy until next year end January.

Need to work hard for Christmas and also to prepare for my field work. Gotta settle the work journals and interviews before January ends. That has been on the back of my mind for months and I know I got to do what I got to do.

A year is almost gone, and I am up for my review on the 24th. Yes, I need to prepare for the presentation and also be prepared for the questions they are going to pop. I am glad that my sup push me to submit earlier the proposal, which I submitted last Weds, 6 days before the due date (kinda proud of that). but seriously, my heart can no longer take last minute preparation, body as well. I've hung the coat of midnight oil burning baby.

Idling idling idling.

I know, I shall post up some photos next. Taken so much of them but didn't have the time to post it up. Most of it, I uploaded in facebook. Its some sort like a photoblogs for me in there.

Oh, and have to apologize for the sequence of sentences. In here, I just type with the train of thoughts without much thought given to the train. Enough of editing in real work.

Fan for life ^^

Wasn’t allowed to take pictures. They were very strict and I didn’t want to get thrown out but still I couldn’t resist this one shot. He was spectacularly awesome. Even better live! Much more handsome most definitely *shy* – NOT! Anyway, not because I have a thing for him, but he is real and presence in each of his performances. He is most certainly passionately in love with his music. Please don’t believe the hype in the tabloids about him, he is John Mayer, he writes better than them.

He shared with the crowds, can’t really recall exactly but it was something about the last few years have been kind of hard for him, he thought he can handles those people, and he welcomed them into his mind, and that he actually can’t handle them, it was too much. So he finally thought it through, that he is not going to give shit anymore, cause he writes better them those motherfuckers (his choice of words).

It was about 16 – 17 songs he performed, 2hours. The crowds were crazy for him!!! Men and women.

Heartbreak warfare, Perfectly lonely, Vultures, Gravity, Daughter, Why Georgia, Who Says (I heart so much!), Crossroads, Free Falling (it was really soulful beautiful), Waiting for the world to change, Bigger than my body (inspirational!), I don’t trust my self with loving you, Who do you think I was?, Friends, lovers or nothing, and a few more of his latest songs.

I am still so so so happy! He is starting a tour for his new album called, battle studies. His latest single is ‘who says’. AND HE IS COMING BACK TO SYDNEY IN MAY!

So happy!!! :-DDDDD

SO HAPPY CAN DIE!

I watch Rove tonight just because JM is a guest! I thought maybe they will anounce the date of his tour in Aust but it was not mentioned BUT apparently there is a limited 100 tickets to his totally under advertised performance this Thursday for ROVE viewers!!

Anyway, we need to have like a secret password to purchase the tickets online? After I got the password? I don't know how many clicks it took me to get to that one ticket but it is darn worth it!!! It took me like 45mins!

Anyway,
I AM GOING TO SEE JOHN MAYER PERFORM THIS WEEEEEEKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Doesn't matter if I stand far far as long as I can hear him sing!!! BUT I am going alone as it was really hard to get the limited tickets. The minute I got the ticket the next minute it got sold out! Don't know to be happy (that I got it) or to be sad (going alone wei). Sorry CY!

I am really really really like extremely happy!

Can say its a dream coming true. *shy*

You know lah right, how hard is it for this sort of artist to land in Malaysia kan? I was telling myself that no matter how in this life time (like I have so many lifes) I MUST go and listen to him live!

So happy!!!

:_D

Read a book. What's the name again, yes, 101 people you won't meet in heaven (I know I shouldn't be wasting time reading books that are not contributing to my research, but I seriously need a new breather).


CY said I am going to have nightmares reading that book (I didn't btw). It's about serious crime offenders. Like war starters, power craze country 'leaders', cannibalists, necrophilias, paedophiles, murderers, genociders, you get the drift.

This book tells the crimes, background of the person, dead or alive, body counts (!!!) and their famous quotes. Didn't think it was that well referred although it is really quite an interesting read.

I noticed, the background especially, that people that has serious family problems, those that were traumatized will ended up like seriously mental.

Problems such as, abusive parents, alcoholic parents, sexually abusive parents (father mostly), no proper family care and love. Those that were mistreated sexually were extremely twisted. Like I really could not imagine the things that they did. They cook the flesh of the person they murdered and then eat it, using their skin to make furniture, have sex with corpses, rapes, tortures and so on and so forth.

I was like, you must be really 'gone' to do those things, that or you really have no basic idea about social living. A few of them were really socially awkward!

And parents, please keep BOTH eyes on your children (boy or girl doesn't matter) and be aware of where they are, they are easy preys to these 'gone' people. A lot of victims were children.

I have no pity for these criminals but then, they didn't know what is right or what is wrong with their upbringing! So what can you say?

Another interesting fact that I collected from that book, is that, those that had a few bumps on their head; dropped on their head when they were young, head concussion (accident), also contributed to their beyond words behaviour. So make sure your kids wear safety helmets. ;-)

Who is the worst criminal, in my opinion?

Those that were perfectly groomed, had loving parents, rich, some are queens and kings. They misused their power and subjected their people to their tortures. These folks really don’t belong to heaven.

And another type, power crazy war hungry politicians! They can burn in hell for all I care. They think of them as god!!! You can guess the people on this list, Saddam (breed by CIA), bin Laden (helped by CIA), Ferdinand Marcos – President of Philippines (assisted by CIA too) and the rest of the infamous ones, Hitler, Mugabe, Stalin, heck even Suharto etc.

After reading this book, it makes me wanna hug my children and makes me wanna super love them - even if I don’t have children.

end note: Could it be the intention of this book to mention CIA’s (US) role in breeding terrorists? Anyway, it just really makes me wonder.

Lucid dreams

I woke up and went to  the bathroom. I wonder how is it that my bathroom is bigger? While I am sitting on the bowl I stare at the window. I wonder, since when I put up curtains in the bathroom and it’s blood red colour. The window is open and the sky is grey and gloomy, exactly like the sky last night. Then suddenly CY burst into the bathroom. He wanted to take some of the toilet bowl I asked of him to pass me some of the paper and he just smile and smile without saying anything. Then I realised heck, this is not real IT IS A DREAM I’M HAVING. I was so nervous that I won’t be able to wake, like ever and I keep telling myself, ‘Tera, WAKE UP WAKE UP’. I even ‘went’ to the end of the bed to wake CY that was sleeping, to ask him to wake me up. I remember I was struggling to wake up with my eyes half open and half shut. Woke up feeling very out of this world. You ever dream about you were dreaming? Also it could be due to the fact that I clumsily banged on the wall like really hard the night before. CY was laughing his arse off. I was worried that I will die of blood clog, drama I know.

Anyway, that was yesterday.

Today, CY had an interesting dream (must be my influence). He dreamt that I cheated money from the mafias and I distributed the money to the ‘people’ and we had to run and hide in the village because I conned the mafias money. Awwww… CY you are so sweet. Seems like I am the heroin in your dream (Robin Hoodess). Heheheheh.

I had plenty of lucid dreams which I have forgotten. Mostly I feel that I am in the real world but then I always realise that I am in the dream world. I wonder if there is any meaning in this. I do believe that dream is part of our subconscious mind that is trying to tell us something.

Something else that is totally random. Someone told me that she would like to return to 21 (She’s about 45) because she wants to begin living differently. I was like har? NO WAY. I wouldn’t want to go back and start all over in my education, relearn life’s lessons, go through hell in my previous work, AGAIN and etc. What a struggle! I can’t wait to finish this life. Like, I know I sound so suicidal but its not that. I think one life time is enough. What do you guys think? I really want to know.

Anyway, gtg, CY is chasing me to get out of my comfort seat so that we could go out and feed the stray cats.

Bye bye.

A little crazy

I am still tired. The lack of sleep from one night (JUST ONE NIGHT last week) and a continuity of work non stop has taken a toll on me. I’m practically dragging myself out of bed everyday.

I know I am tired not because I think I’ve worked days in a roll, but because I am beginning to twitch around my eyes and my speech is stuttered. I think my body wants to rest and shut down but my mind is against it. Another interesting fact about me being tired and definitely getting stress is I am becoming a cry baby, well I normally do cry easily but this is silly. I can’t even continue to blog properly.

I managed to squeeze some time to read book other than theories’. Between bus ride, lunch break and bus ride. I just got it yesterday and I finished it when I got home today. The only time I can read so fast and intense is when the book is reaching out to me. I feel like my energy has been recharged.

The book, ‘Veronika decides to die’ by my favourite author is about a girl that has no reason to kill herself but still did so, about mad people’s world which always fascinate me (The Soloist is about mentally ill people too). These books make me understand them more, makes me want to be a bit crazy myself too. Story is still around the theme of being you, doing what makes you happy, and this sometimes mean you have to go crazy. Thus, madhouse is a perfect place for you to do what you want and people wont judge you for it. Anyway, above all, this book is about dying and by realizing that you don’t have much time left, then only you will start living. Not much people realize that they are dying so they waste all their precious life away. Sad.

Beethoven, Van Gogh, Einstein was a little mad too but they were all genius in their own ways. Crazy and genius, how irony.

I told you I am stuttering. I am having difficulties forming sentences right now.

Right, back to literature review. My sup told me I had to cut my previously written review down by half. I feel like hanging myself. Maybe that’s why I am twitching. Hehehehe.

Later.

random post again

Mad tired. But kinda have the mood to spill nonsense. Perhaps this is one of the entry that has no whatsoever logic. I will just type which ever I feel like.

Had a workshop today. It went kinda well, last minute and the planning, we didn’t need to do zip. All the planning and running did by the manager and not the counter manager. Counter manager just need to set up the place. I think it is good, as the sales team can focus on the sales only and not worry about the planning. Another surprise was, they were quite pleased with the outcome. Much to my surprise because back  home we have to be answerable to why we did so bad. NO GM no too many managers to boss around limited human resources. It’s understaffed what we have here, but I thought we have less stress and deal with the customer more sincerely. Well that’s what I think.

Came home feeling very warm. CY is the world’s greatest darling. This I dare to say. He was preparing meal for me for my lunchbox tomorrow. Actually he has been doing that since forever. He truly pamper me. Feel like a queen. Ha. Oh yah, CY has this habit of collecting any brochures that he can gets his hands on and he will look through every single one of them. I find that odd.

There is a big party going on at the lawn of my Uni. I saw people jumping up and down with the music. I should be in there but, there’s always a but. Nah, tomorrow I think I will just get a cheap bottle of sparkling wine and down it with CY. No strength to fight for space in crowded spaces.

Do I still hate Sydney? I don’t think so but I still don’t like it. Anyway it must be Kim that’s making me don’t hate Sydney. Had lunch with her, she’s half aussie and half chinese Malaysian. Beautiful lady, I think of her as the gypsy from he 60s. One of the smartest students for my supervisor. Won an award for best hons in our School and she is doing her PhD on a scholarship. Nice to know some people sometimes eh. I like her cause she is not stuck up, must be half Malaysian. ;-)

What else is random. Books! I am going to buy lotsa book here cause its much cheaper if you don’t convert. Like as compared to Malaysia I would have to eat the book or grass if I were to buy like I do now. So going to collect a lot before I go home. Yes. I am and I want to come back Malaysia and be a grouchy Malaysian but still its home. Then again that’s another three year.

Oh. I know how Aussie speaks d. Finally.

Good night. Going to go and make people depress d. ;-)